Humility Opens a Gateway to the Future

Humility opens a gateway to the Future…

As we stand courageous and clear on the precipice where yesterday plummets into a shimmering diamond sea of tomorrows… As we stand together yet divinely alone on this earthen throne of a present moment so ripe, we have all been called to die.  Called to die to that which is binding and false and so five centuries ago (or maybe just five seconds, if you reckon the past is but a dream lost in the erratic folds of memory).  Have you yet become intimate with the taste of crumble?  Crumbling archaic interiors, long obsolete, built in darker ages by darker minds and hearts suffocating in elongated existential shadows.

Do you wish this riddle-spitting witchy nymph would speak plain English?  Okay, I’ll give it a rip.  Word on the street is that we are in a recession.  There is a pervasive climate of dynamic tension pressing on each of us from the inside.  As snowflakes, we all have our own unique mythologies of how these current sociological conditions are playing out in our lives… Some of us are sitting prettier and our slew of sliver spoons are remaining less tarnished and worn.  Others among us feel as though we are being unabashedly bitch slapped by challenge and discomfort.  Regardless, I bet we can mostly agree that the winds of change and the tides of transformation are ripping and lapping at the shores of our consciousness.  Seemingly external, broad-sweeping conditions are wreaking havoc on our internal climate.  Everybody is being summoned to release the old.  Old ways of being, habits, limiting beliefs, blah, blah, blah.  Come on, it can’t be the first time you’ve heard that… it’s gotta be yesterday’s wrinkled, grey haired news by now.

Raise your hand if you’ve been gloriously coming undone!  Either overtly or just in a subtle fashion like the coy, saucy smile of our beloved Mona Lisa.  But like prismatic dominos, one by one we are plummeting back to earth.  Leave it to financial strains to splash us like bracing water and make us wake up to that which truly matters most.

We have been in this dying for a while now… and I have witnessed some who are reveling in the sacred refinement, while others are whining like inconvenienced, spoiled babies (while still others are doing champagne toasts on their yachts and laughing gaily at expired jokes).  This chaotic present time condition is no accident, Beloveds!  No, this is the holy kiss by All Pervading Sacred Lips, kicking off the long awaited shift in consciousness.  So I say, let the archaic structures BURN, baby!  Strike another metaphoric match on the seat of your literal britches and cast it on the groaning, bone dry ruins.  Beat your long forgotten wings with fury, stoking this fire to epic heights.  Watch the flames lick the sky and take delight as the sky licks back.  Flames dancing like unruly, ignited rainbows on the loose in inner space.  And wait… patient and riveted for a sea of phoenixes to explode from your very own hallowed ash.

Now enter humility stage east.  Inhale.  Exhale.  I could never get through Jack Kornfield’s book, After Ecstasy, the Laundry… to my dismay… because I thought that any book by that title (not to mention written by that heroic poster child of peace) was indubitably a requisite read.  But I do remember being rocked by reverence upon sipping the introduction.  Mister Kornfield shares about his early monk days when he was oh-so arduously low in the ranks of monkdom.  He was made to bow to everything, inanimate and animate alike.  At first he confessed to being wildly irritated by this incessant, consuming, full time occupation.  But after a while, he gave himself over to the practice and it changed him.  It softened him.  He merged with an authentic humility that opened a crucial door Inside.

It is this humble bowing that will allow us to die to our false selves in peace and divine trust.  As we bow to who we have been, in both light and shadow, we imbibe in implicit surrender.  It is the stalwart, belligerent ego that fights to hold on to the past, for that is the only reference point from which it can maintain a grip on its ever false existence.  Are you holding on?  What are your poor white knuckles wrapped around today and why?  Believe me, if you were to open those sweet palms wide to the smiling face of Infinity, you would anything but disappointed by the bliss that would stream ceaselessly upon them.  Pour forgiveness, compassion and gratitude upon your glimmering memories of selves and worlds past and be free at last.

Bow now and lovingly release the projections of journeys already tread.  Bless who you have dreamed yourself to be. Bless the confines and painstakingly straight lines you have once drawn around yourself because you thought that was the only way.  Not today.  Today is a day to prostrate in the dirt, to kiss and thank the ever-giving body of the earth and joyously die to the small you that never truly was.  Rebirth?  All signs point to hallelujah… but first things first.  Just be here.  Be here in the aching, shattered bliss that is full surrender to stark darkness and twisted, overgrown scapes of Great Unknown.  Be courageous and let darkness devour bowing you.  Nurse on the sweet relief that it is to be nobody for a languid summer moon.

And soon…

Amen.

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Do You Believe Yet?

One of the best compliments I have ever received was years ago when a friend told me that being with me was an experience of what he called, “sensatia”…(which of course I just looked up on dictionary dot com, to no avail…but just groove with it anyway, okay?)  According to him, sensatia is the experience of a “cross pollination”, a merging of the senses.  For example a sonic experience turning to a vibrational dance of colors or the sound of the rain, pounding the tin roof, miraculously transforming inside you, to the tangible taste of watermelon.  Strange.  But I can totally get that about me.  I have a tendency to be kind of a psychedelically twisty chick.  I thought of it this morning because it is still not quite light outside and the bird songs are so thick and feverish that inside I am having an experience of being in a rain storm.  Their multiplistic voices are reminiscent of looking into a hall of mirrors.  They are falling in me like soft though forcefully driving rain.

I was hoping that first paragraph would unfold into a previously hidden river valley full of lush, inspired thoughts… but it didn’t, so I will dive right into a poem.  One wild minded, ripe-hearted citizen of the universe indulged my invitation for poem topics yesterday… so here you go Liz (aka “nana nana poo poo”):

Red hot cinnamon skin

I know I must glow

In the dark and in the light

I am ignited like

A soulfully smoldering coal.

A single goopy splooge

Of mystery cream

Slathered lovingly into my

tender thighs

and I

wouldn’t be screaming this

tortured song wafting

in infrared tongues.

But now I am among

The sun stung wonders,

Body throbbing like

Neon lights

But I will not fight this heat.

I will make my bed of ice

And slide between

Frozen sheets, sleep

Please wake me when I’m done

Peeling.

Hmmm, I must confess that I allowed myself more time than I’d’ve liked to write that.  The idea is to let it pour out like a renegade stream of [grade B] maple syrup onto steaming griddle cakes.  But I wanted to do it so perfect.  It was kind of a constipated one… You should have seen my face as I squeezed it out.  Glad you didn’t.  Practice.  Come on people.  Toss me another topic…PLEASE.

Actually tonight for “date night” instead of going and stuffing our faces with artisan pizza and intoxicating burgundy elixirs, Mykael and I are going to go to Lake Merit.  He will bring his “podium” and carve his latest stony masterpiece and I will bring my typewriter and serve as the poetic muse to the vast cross section of humanity, magnetically drawn to the spacious, man made lake plunked smack dab in the heart of magnificent Oakland.  We will share our passions with the masses.  You see, it took me getting so repulsed by the shriveled Mykael, the fearful me and the suffocating relationship that I had been holding hostage in an airtight match box… This blue lipped, oxygenless entity we once upon a time named, “Mythena”.  For the last week or so, I have removed myself completely from the relationship… asking virtually NOTHING of it.  Instead focusing on ME.  On what I want, who I am, what my contribution to the world is… I have been knocking persistently at the door of my very own heart, begging God to open me from the inside and reveal the light of who I truly am.

And I’ll tell you what!?!?!  Something HAS released in me.  I feel whispers of the truth.  For the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I have tasted a mouthwatering drop of the true nature of Love unbounded.  It’s hard to wrap in language.  In anusara yoga, the place we always start, and return to often is “set the foundation and open to Grace”.   If one lives in the conceptual realm of this principal it can seem to be but fluffy jargon in some moments.  But as we discussed in a recent blog entry, Grace is the artist formerly known as the Infinite Oceanic Love of the All Pervading BFF.  (“Best Friend Forever”)

Something has come over me.  I suppose it was a blessed shedding.  Souldipping Amy’s sudden auspicious presence in my world (souldipper.wordpress.com) and the reading she gave me via my spirit guides recently was a very crucial participant in this opening.  Also, that whole entire sea of tears I shed over the past few weeks has truly washed away ancient internal rubble.  I sense I was releasing so much old stuff.  You know, wounding, false beliefs…  Karmic weight that my soul can’t afford to carry anymore if I am to fulfill my purpose here on the earth this time around.  (Not that I’ve “made it” and I’m done.  Sheesh, far from it, my friends.  Our ship has set sail for the end of time and human suffering!)  There is now a new sense of space and quiet, softly wafting in perfumed tunes of Love, from this poetic heart.  It is the beginning of the end of our coma of forgetfulness.  Witnessing and participating the changes inside me, I am now an unabashed believer in the impending shift in consciousness.  Something AMAZING is on its way.  Be patient.  Breathe.  Trust.  Allow. Lean into the Silence.  I promise you, you will NOT be disappointed.

AMEN.