Courthouse Revelations With A Side of Bliss

God I live in such a bubble.  And the thing about living in bubbles is that it is easy to mistake the world of the bubble for the world “at large”… or maybe… maybe I don’t actually live in a bubble, maybe everyone in the courtroom this morning was but a reflection of my consciousness.  Maybe as I keep changing myself from the inside, maybe all of those fellow prospective jurors will begin to take their places by my side, standing up in the conviction that WE ARE ONE and punishment should not beget punishment.  That’s what I triumphantly told them right into the danged microphone this morning.  I told them that I could not be objective, looking only at the “facts” presented.  In a room full of wily, homegrown “strangers” (aka- perfect, unique facets of the One Self) I said that this world we live in is crazy and it only exacerbates it to perpetuate the chain of punishment and human suffering.  The seasoned black woman judge with the big blond head of straightened hair who would have been the perfect candidate to play a judge TV asked me if I had a better idea.

Smack!  Talk about on the spot.  I said not precisely, but the solution will come from loving, not from thinking.  I felt terrified and euphoric speaking from my heart in this room full of everyday people wearing placid faces and mostly crossing their arms in front of their chests.  If I had one wish, it would be that speaking from my heart spoke to the hearts of others present such that their consciousness is impacted and elevated.  If I had two wishes… (Grin)… I would wish to live life fully embodied as the Christ Self from now on, spilling over, everywhere with love and peace and blessings.  Perpetually awake in a state of unconditional bliss.

I was the first juror to be dismissed at the lunch break.  I felt sorta sad exiting the courtroom.  Even though I deem our system of judgment to be INSANE and irrelevant, I somehow wished I could’ve stayed and participated as the “token bodhisattva”… You know?  Just sat in lotus position in the corner and prayed for Love’s Grace to wash over the case and all present in the courtroom… while all the other suckas blew fuses and popped gaskets in their overheated little deluded minds.  Oh well.  I guess I’ll just have to pray from the sidelines.  That’s the beauty of prayer~ it transcends time and space, so you don’t even have to get out of bed to save the world!  (I’m typing from bed.)

I am very grateful for the opportunity to step into that little slice of life outside my new age bubble.  Or if we’re gonna go the more esoteric route (come on, open your minds wide, People), I was grateful to be able to face those facets of myself who are still deeply asleep in the illusory dream of separation.  I can see that I still have some surrendering and healing of this amnesiac psyche yet left undone.  Some unabashed bathing in holy light still to do.  But ain’t no thang… All Pervading Bliss knows not of time, of lack, limitation or suffering.  All Pervading Bliss will just keep smiling wide and wild from inside me and you and everything and beyond… Forever.

It really will.  I’ve been pretty curious about how it’s possible to *really*, fully live in the moment… and still get shit done that needs to get done.  And feeling stumped about the atrocity of living life sans planning.  Impossible, right?  But so many spiritual teachers and leaders and ancient texts whisper the eternal secret that if One lives fully open and alive, ever-savoring the gift of the moment, than life will unfold perfectly, abundant and full of Grace, according to Divine Plan. (Mom, what does that poster in your kitchen say?  The one with the picture of the lotus with the Yogananda quote…)  Now come on… Raise your hand if that stumps you.  Be honest.  Isn’t that a tough one to surrender to?  To fully relinquish the future and just bask like a sleepy sun drenched cat in the holy light of incessant blessed now… But today… I had an insight around this confounding esoteric cousin of one hand clapping.

Thanks to my Beloved, Doctor Depak Chopra!  (and of course thanks to my very own inner teacher, higher wisdom, Christ Self.)  Depak talked about living in bliss (among a whole other slew of brilliant, related topics) last night on New Dimensions Radio.  (I am still WILD about Mister Chopra!!!  Wild.  I want to be just like him, except me.  He *seems* to be fully awake to the truth of himSelf as the Great I AM.  As Creation, Creator, All Pervading One.  He is masterful, serviceful, focused, prosperous, creative, joyful, powerful, peaceful… I want to stand up and give him a boisterous round of applause!  And then I want to rush into an old skool phone booth and rip off my boring mundane costume and reveal the Wondrous Galactic Wilderness Woman Superheroine Maha Devi that lives just beneath this purple hoodie!)  Ahem.  He said bliss is our natural state, always.  It’s different than “happiness” or “sadness”… or any of those other great taste less filling emotions, which depend on external conditions.  Bliss just keeps on blissing along… Forever.  So today, I have just been lifting my mind and my heart to All Pervading, Omnipresent Love.  Letting the holy feelings of connection to all life waft and dance my consciousness awake like a sweet, heavenly scent.  I can see that living from this silent, unconditional bliss can only beget good.  And that is what I am here for.  To give good, to receive good, to recognize, praise and surrender to the unlimited good that we are all marinating in, that we are all made of.

There might be way less to figure out than I had once believed… It’s getting mighty quiet in here.

Amen.

I Have A Crush On Depak Chopra!

I wonder what it would be like to be married to Depak Chopra.  Seriously.  I watched some of the movie, “ONE” last night… that movie made by three dudes without any film experience who just got a bug up their collective butt to go on a cinematic pilgrimage asking fellow humans their thoughts on the meaning of la-la-LIFE!  I highly recommend it.  (at least the first thirty minutes…Since that’s all I’ve seen so far…)  I loved how they emphasized that the reason that this movie came together with such profound ease and global participation, was that the underlying, driving force was the service of la-la-Love, and that anything is possible when one steps onto a path in the spirit of the Highest first.  One of the guys admitted that if they had have realized the magnitude of this project at the start, they never would have taken it on.  That reminds me of a quote I read on my visit to Glide on Sunday.  It said something like, “Faith is taking the first step, even if you can not see the top of the staircase.”  You know who said it?  Martin Luther King Jr. (a fellow Capricorn!)  Quite different than my Nigerian friend’s idea of faith equating to being force fed dogmatic cardboard concepts such as the Immaculate Conception in the name of Immaculate Manipulation, eh?

But back to Depak Chopra.  Man, I sure got a crush on him.  In my opinion, he is a wonderful speaker.  He presents himself so professionally.  He is clear, articulate and intelligent as hell.  I wonder if I could get away with ANY of my wily feminine games with him.  He seems so on top of his game… seem, seem, seem, I’m bursting at the seems!!!  I sure can’t imagine what it would really be like to be his wife.  I totally creamed my pants when he said, “We are the only species who is aware of our mortality. If you are not totally amazed and bewildered and mystified by your self… then you’re still not fully human.”  For some reason that was a relief for me to hear.  I sit here day after day, turning over stones inside my mind, my heart, my shadowy cracks (and cracky shadows!) and it is endless.  Somehow my fascination feels validated now.  And I know that I am in resplendent company here with all of YOU!!!  I know that as I sit here excavating and musing, I AM doing it for the team.  Another great thing he said was, “Our dualistic thinking leads to ignorance.  Sometimes we institutionalize this ignorance and call it “religion”, and then we go to war over it.”  You know what I love about that quote?  Its succinctness.  It strikes me as a highly profound truth, but he spits it out with a wham, bam, thank you ma’am PUNCH.  Sha-zaam!  Unlike some wordsmiths I know, who are so in love with words that they spread them on the page thicker than Mykael spreads jam on his morning feast of open faced almond butter and jam sammies.  Honestly, it took me months to let go of my judgment and repulsion in regards to his gratuitous jam usage.  It’s a sugar swamp. He needs thigh high rubber boots to wade through it.  This morning, I was feeling especially nuts.  I grabbed mykael’s wrist while he was poised to spread the jam.  (He has to turn the jar sideways, and coax it with a butter knife, so that it pours upon his bread slices like thick, cooling lava.) I started talking in my manic, wacky child’s voice and took raucous, erratic control over operation strawberry jam spillage, laughing all the way, of course.  Don’t ask why, but participating in this sacrilegious rite was somehow healing for me.  Mykael was only a sliver of a fraction of a slice of delight as tickled by my antics as I was.  But he felt my joy and allowed me to playfully dominate his breakfast preparation. (Thank you, Benevolent Sir)  You wouldn’t believe how engaged and at one I was!  I doubt Depak Chopra would allow me to spread his great wall of jam this way…  Another reason to stay committed to Mykael.  (Plus, I bet Mister Chopra is a conservative lover… but I’m not trying to start any rumors.  Maybe he’s all unbridled passion… but he just “SEEMS” so moderate in his lifestyle and behaviors…)

God, I am so grateful to be feeling the freedom of the flow again.  The last couple of days I have felt so linguistically constipated.  Now, I feel like I am at a sleep over with my best friend and we are so excited to be together, that we plan to stay up ALL NIGHT talking about EVERYTHING!!!  Pretend with me, won’t you?  Let’s love every moment!  Let’s make messes and freely reveal our hearts and our overflowing inanity!!!  Thank you for this freedom… whoever you are…

Speaking of best friends and sleepovers, you know I spent some time with one of my Besties, Amrita yesterday.  It was profound as always.  Thank All Pervading Light for those beings who grace our paths, and no matter how much time goes by, the meeting place is always the same deep, eternal knowing place!  We shared about our current vantage points in our relationships… and I was left with an expanded perspective on my current standing.  It was nothing specific that she said, or that we even discussed.  It was more like the involuntary impression that was burned into my mind’s eye during our time together.  (Two women at a nearby table are speaking Spain Spanish.  It turns me on.  My dad’s wife is from Barcelona, and because of all the time we’ve shared, my ears have come to appreciate the dignified angular music of the language.) (A man across from me is nursing a generous glass of red wine, accompanying his bagel and cream cheese!  Ladies and Gents, eleven am, and this party is officially STARTED!!!)  Anyway, the impression that burned into my inner vision was an intangible understanding of…

Hard to say.  But I feel it and I know it.  It is a place where the masculine and the feminine quintessentially clash.  It is a place where human beings are quintessentially imperfect. Inevitably every relationship bears this blessed curse.  Cursed blessing… or “ISness”, if you prefer the less dramatic portrayal… Made me think of the story of Sita and Ram, as portrayed in the movie, “Sita Sings the Blues”.  I was astounded at what a bonified DICK Ram acts like most of the time.  And in the face of that, Sita is steadfast in her devotion to her beloved husband.  I grappled with that one for months after I saw the movie.  I was struck by Sita’s potent, uncompromising devotion to Ram.  But I did not see much evidence that Ram deserved it.  He didn’t trust her and he seemed to be a pretty ego centric King.  Last night it occurred to me that she was merely practicing unconditional love.

Unconditional Love.  The term has been beaten to death by our modern, new agey, popular culture… but at it’s essence, it is simple~ Love without conditions.  Lately, I have been painfully aware of my bottomless “font” of conditions in relationship with Mykael.  I see that my default habit is to be entirely self serving.  So far, the result is much disappointment.  It seemed at first glance like Sita got the shorter than sin end of the stick, while Ram had more stick then even a renowned king knew what to do with.  But really… I say Sita got a stick that stretched clear to heaven.  Because the one who chooses Love is free.  The one who chooses love, chooses intimacy with the very binding agent of the Universe!  I am considering the angle that one [profound] purpose of long term, committed relationship is to practice, purify and strengthen one’s capacity to LOVE without condition. Like really, truly without condition… not just when its fashionable and convenient. Why bother binding to one single other?  Because the commitment is a container that allows for the perpetual deepening, the profound alchemy intrinsic in practicing Love.  In the face of this other’s inevitable imperfections, you commit to seeing, serving and loving the eternal light in them.  It is like a dress rehearsal for loving, serving, seeing humanity this way, and ultimately widening your heart so much that the illusion of duality is decimated and the truth of Oneness reclaims reign in the forefront of your mind and being.  Real Love once again takes the wheel of your existence.  All of humanity is elevated and awakened by looking into the clear, still mirror of your perfected Self!!!!

Amen.