Complicated Or Pancakes?

My fingers are hovering on the keys like my mind is hovering on the teetering edge of God.  On one side, there is an unbounded field of goodness.  On the other side is chaos and complications and infinite reasons why this moment is insufficient.  Hmmmm… Given my God-given gift to create a world that is a perfect reflection of my inner world, my thoughts and beliefs, which side shall I invest myself in?  Athena Graceland is a world that I rule.  Honestly, I often feel subconsciously overwhelmed by this.  And I don’t just mean the rulership of Athena Graceland… but the rulership of my own life.  OH YEAH!  I forgot for a second what I wanted to write about, but it just came back as I opened the spigot of my mind!  Hallelujah, maybe there IS something greater at work here than generic old “me”.  Small, illusory, separate me with the smallest m in the wholesale alphabet warehouse…


This fear, that my writing is but a desperate, clawing act of survival of a greedy, sniveling, clutching little ego-fever-dream… it can be a crippling one.  I can be so absolute– like, either I must show up on the page as an entirely obliterated wash of GodLove, or I should just “stay on the porch”, sipping my sweet tea, thinking “deep, private thoughts” with my hand down my pants.  But then I catch myself flailing in the sticky net of that royal mind fuck and I take a breath and just start writing.


How’s that for profound?  I’d give it a nine!  Because think about it– Where does waiting for perfection get you?  Yes, this is a “my first zen koan”… from the collection “zen koans for dummies”.  Uh-huh, that’s right!  Waiting for perfection gets you to stagnant pergatory called “waiting for perfection”.  We could all rot a thousand times over as we sit around waiting for perfection.  But honestly, let’s not.  Let’s put on our hip rainbow vision safety goggles and get on with exploring the mystic scapes of our inner life as told by the wild and strange multiplicity of the “external world”.  (yes, I put it in quotes because I’m not convinced that it really exists.


Which brings me back to my original inquiry… the one that I have yet to divulge.  I am here, mostly naked on my blue bed on a moonday morning at ten forty, fog burning off and giving way to boundless, lucid sky and a glorious rendition of daylight and I am wondering.  Does that make me “Wonder Woman”?  Absolutely.  Ahem.  So I wonder…




This is a really important question.  And I’ve heard from leading experts in this field that NO, in fact, the world does NOT NEED TO BE SAVED.  Abraham Hicks, for one, takes this stance.  Not to mention an impressively sized handful of other “enlightened types”… Then there’s A Course In Miracles, which, in the essential fashion of most sacred texts, states that there is no world beyond the world Inside… so if we wish to look  upon perfection and endless love than all we must do is give ourselves devotionally to the task of polishing our own inner sanctum until it is Revealed as the brilliant shine it always has been and always will be.  As I write this, I’m like YEAH!  Absolutely!!!!  But next let’s consider Ghandi, MLKjr., Jesus Christ, (oh fuck, why are they all MEN who rise to the surface of my  mind when I call upon examples of great souls who majestically-creative, personify LOVE IN ACTION?  I’m sure there’s plenty of women… Maya Angeloo… Ummm… okay I have homework to do!  (Actually, will you please comment on this blog and share your favorite rockstar woman who has taken a bold and courageous stand from her heart and GIVEN HER ENTIRE LIFE to serving this stand?  I’d appreciate it.  And so will some other people.  Because I’m not the only one here who has been warped by world history books fabricated by the ill-meaning powers that be, in service of keeping our collective head clutched in a pathetic headlock by the tighter than thou  collective anal sphincter.)


So let’s summarize.  I’m into that lately.  In fact, since it blew my mom’s head open, I think I’ll play the numerical ordering game again!


#1- The thought form that asserts that it’s all about raising our own vibration- that we are each indeed God, existing on a sacred playground of infinite possibility where “right” and “wrong” expired back before the dinosaurs ruled the earth, and given this, every soul is eternal and free to choose and explore as they please and it is NOT OUR JOB TO JUDGE THE CHOICES OF OTHERS… but only to mind our own business and create as WE CHOOSE, resting sweetly in the assurance that there truly IS infinite supply.  That’s a rough sketch of the Abraham view of the ISniverse!


#2- This one is sort of an intermediate smear of the other two items.  The idea that there IS NO WORLD, aside from the world Inside.  I am a devout subscriber to this notion, and given this, I aspire every day to continue on the path of purifying and healing my mind.  But is that ENOUGH?  Then what?


#3- Love in action.  Those who devote their lives to making the world outside “a better place”.  And I can NOT deny that this is crucial, because I am so grateful for those who have taken a stand for such massive vision at the risk of their own comfort.  Fuck yes!


But why do they bother… if the world does not need to be saved and is already perfect?????????  I put nine question marks, but really I meant to put at least a thousand because I WANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS once and for all!


I guess the missing piece is dharma.  Gotta call Krishna in to shed his holy light on this colossal mind fuck!  He says it’s like this- You meditate, get fluent in the language of Silence, and then you can hear the call of your deepest heart’s integrity.  And if you have the chutzpah, you can give yourself entirely to this sacred invitation, whether it’s embarking on a mission to free a nation or make killer blueberry pancakes for your family’s breakfast… And Krishna told me to be SURE to emphasize that you mustn’t get attached to whether or not the nation gets free or the pancakes turn out hella rad… More important is complete immersion in the moment, in the intent, in the BEING.


God, how did it all get so complicated?  The more I live, the more I believe that if it is complicated, it is ego and it is unnecessary… I should have written this blog:  BE LOVE NOW.


Live A.

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