Cloud Theater and Holy Reverence

I’m looking at clouds out my bedroom window.  I swear to Jesus H, the clouds here on Kauai are a constant source of entertainment for me!  They put Hollywood cinema to s-h-a-m-e.  (You have to spell it out…)  Remember as a kid when you used to allow yourself to become mesmerized and dissolved in the overt images that called to your awakened, imaginative spirit?  Well, if you were here with me, you too would become a kid again!  I’m sure of it.  I just saw a swan swim over the mountain and now she has become a hooded cobra snake!  Of course I also see a galloping silver unicorn, which is extra special, because most of the unicorns I see are plain old white!


I am SO happy to be here with You (yes, YOU) in Athena Graceland!  Can you tell?  It’s our refugee camp.  I was feeling premenstrual and fragmented and swirling with unruly emotions… but now that I have arrived safely on the page I am home free.  It’s like playing tag and making it to base safely without getting tagged.  Or swimming through a lake full of piranhas and getting to shore without being a pulpy mess of blood and mangled flesh.  This calls for a celebration!  Crack open the bubbly, strike up the band, rip off your clothes and dance with me!


Oh, okay, I’ll come clean… I also just drank two cups of sweet, creamy yerba matte in a row because my butt was filled with ever single marble that existed in nineteen fifty and because of this, it was d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g behind me and really slowing me down.  But not no mo’!  Now my mind is a jack rabbit tearing down the highway and my poor little fingers are doing their darnedest to keep up, bless their ten little bony hearts.  Ahhh!  I just took a sweet deep breath!  Now the clouds have become a flame-breathing Santa Clause head!  See what I mean?  Why would I ever need to go to the movies again?  Maybe just for the greasy, five dollar popcorn…


Today is one of those days where I want to tell you everything at once.  I know!  How ‘bout I just rip the top of my head off and let you wade around in the spacious, soupy cosmos in here?!?  I promise you a whale of a time, or your money back, guranteed…


First I want to tell you that I have a phobia of studying English, literature and writing in some sort of credible institution… I’m afraid of all the stuffy, self-important rules that I imagine perverted grandpa academia would try to cram down my freewheeling throat.  I love writing exactly how I want to, not how I’m “supposed to”, in order to be erudite and sophisticated and respectable.  Two corners of the mouth down on THAT one… My voice is a tender chick, which I guard with my life, unwilling for her fragile, fluffy body to be shattered and her guts burst all about the careless, calloused world at large.  Shrug… So I guess that rules out college for me.  I’ll just stick to my already rigorous enrollment in the School of Mostly Soft Knocks.


Next order of business, I am invited to be on local radio tomorrow morning!  There’s this show from ten till noon, hosted by a man named Kamran.  He carves out his two hours to be a sacred space, a place of unconventional worship.  He often reads from the works of my homeboys, Rumi and Hafiz weaving them in with groovy music and amazing, enlightened guests such as YT (my new shorthand for “yours truly”…)  We just spoke on the phone and I felt his heart immediately.  Even the moment that occurs just BEFORE immediately.  I wish we had a word for that in clumsy old English… Maybe that’s what a “heart-blink” is… (Eh Dan?)  Ahem, so Kamran asked me to reach inside and harvest some gratitude saturated, love stained, God drunk words, offered straight to this resplendent, generous, heaven of an island and all of her blessed inhabitants.  I feel like I just won the lottery, because I have SO much appreciation for this verdant, copious, loving embrace named Kauai.  (Now the clouds look like a big long poop, slowly drifting above the mountains…)


I’ve always wanted to be on the radio!  I want to be Hanuman the monkey god tomorrow morning.  You know how he unabashedly rips his chest open to reveal Sita and Ram, the female and male principals of God, who are nestled eternally in his heart?  He eternally burns with a drive to pour himself out in service to them.  Yes, I pray that I can rip my heart open and bleed contagious, celebratory devotion upon all who listen to the show… which of course will then continue to rush like a river and drench everyone THEY know and love and even those they don’t know they love!


Can you imagine feeling love for every single One you meet?  Try it.  It’s possible.  Isn’t that amazing?  That is why I keep returning to the Rivers, Streams, Ocean of God and washing my mind, cleansing my heart… because with a divinely cleansed Self, not only are miracles, possible, they are INEVITABLE as breathing.


I just closed my eyes and asked God what else to say to you this afternoon.  In the darkness behind my eyes, a doorway opened into the world of sound.  I tuned into the high pitched, rolling purr of some sort of crickety insects.  It’s an evocative song.  It seduces my mind to reach its boundless fingers straight into the heavens and caress the soft cheeked face of Grace.  And Holy Popcorn!, is her cheek soft!  If you don’t believe me, reach up and see for yourself!  You’ll be pleasantly astonished.


God, I offer myself as your Holy Instrument!  Please, let my life be a source of inspired beauty and contagious peace.  Help me to forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive and… until I am as wide open as… er… ummmm… the WIDEST OPENING in all the multiverse.  (And may I continue to lovingly laugh at myself as I stumble along the way.)  And God, may this prayer inspire and remind ALL who read it of their unique, glory stained holiness, and their miraculous and ESSENTIAL place in the All Pervading Choir!  And God?  You ROCK!




P.S.~ Now the clouds have turned to Snoopy!

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. souldipper
    Oct 09, 2010 @ 19:45:14

    Wondering if the radio station is on the Net. Wouldn’t that be a kick to be able to hear you?!


  2. dan
    Oct 10, 2010 @ 02:37:24

    YOU are MY heart-blink Athena. Love and forgiveness.


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