Everything’s Turning To Jesus!

The blank page glares at me expectantly.  I gaze back at it, paralyzed by possibility and not wanting to settle for anything less than God’s will.  God?  What would you have me say tonight?  You see, All Pervading One has been SO good to little Athena Grace… all I want to do is pour myself out as a font of reverence and gratitude.  I bring my awareness to my heart.  It tingles like sweet Hawaiian limes and I say yes and invite the tart flush to spread all the way down my arms and hands and out of my ignited, buzzing finger tips (as well as through the entire core of my body).  Finally, life is great!  Sheesh, I had to trudge through the wastelands of forgetfulness and pain for so long… But I like to work for things in life… it makes them taste way better.  I can only imagine how much divine nourishment I will be able to assimilate from life at age forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, a hundred and twenty!!!  Yes, folks, I plan to live to be a hundred and twenty.  Depak Chopra said that’s the ball park life expectancy for luminous creatures such as yours truly.

God?  Is that what you wanted me to say?  How do I know?  I don’t, so I’ll just fake till I make it, which will probably be any minute now.  Where DO these words come from?  They sure come from SOMEwhere… Might as well be the All Pervading Alphabet Soup.  Alphabet soup… remember how thrilling alphabet soup was?!  At least for me it was… Though I never was able to spell anything very interesting, like I do in this blog.  I think if I could witness/participate in one chosen miracle, it would be for my bowl of alphabet soup to reveal the secrets of the universe to me.  Nah, then it would probably just be ONE single spoonful that said, “LOVE”.  Instead, God will talk to me through my alphabet soup and tell me exactly what to say in my blog.  Can you imagine, if my blog was “brought to you by” my bowl of alphabet soup?!  Then would you BELIEVE?!

Goddess Bless America!  Holy Popcorn!  There is so much I could tell you… and yet nothing is burning brighter in my mind’s eye than anything else.  And when I ask God what to say, HeSheIt just smiles at me from the heaven that explodes from everywhere at once, which is cool and all, but at the end of the day, I still have to pull something out of the hat to throw out to you hungry cyber dogs.  I guess I’ll tell you that about a week ago, I got a random email from a woman who found my blog through a search for “Caroline Myss”.  This woman recently wrote a book called, Walking Through Illusion, which she said was about how it’s not our beliefs we take with us when we pass, but the LOVE we found through having them, and she asked, if she sent me a copy, would I be willing to read it and then review it on my blog…  Shrug.  Random, right?  But I was intrigued… because I’m tired of trying to force and control my life.  It’s much more relaxing and fulfilling when I (hear this next part in an Indian accent) simply let go and let God.

So the book showed a coupla days ago up and it was very clear that God sent it to me.  No coincidence.  In her forward, the author, Betsy Otter Thompson says that in the writing of her book, she merges with Jesus’s energy.  She opens her heart, receives a feeling and lets that feeling express.  Sounds familiar… but translated feelings sure are more of a dastardly mish-mash.  When I first got the email from her, I was not cognizant of serving a divine instrument being ecstatically played as an essential part of God’s drunken symphony… I thought I was separate and finite and that it was a fluke, a dice who rolled off of someone else’s crap table (I put that in for my dad, since he deals craps… I recently invited him to read this blog, after months of skirting around the topic… I yearned to share this passionate expression of my soul with him… and yet I felt terrified of being judged and misunderstood by DADDY.  Honestly, that’s the arch angel of all stings.  But I finally got over myself and invited him deeper into my world by giving him the web address.  I don’t think he’s reading it though…But someday he will.  And maybe my craps reference will energetically seduce him to his computer, inexplicably, in the middle of the night…) and accidentally bounced into my playpen.

But when I cracked Walking Through Illusions open this morning and licked the preliminary pages with my eyeballs, it was clear that this was obviously the expert execution of one Lord and Savoir on High!  Yup.  That’d be our very own Jesus H.  In some of my past blogs, I’ve expressed my fondness for the holy dude… and defended him from the travesty of kinked up, pursed lipped, frivolously condemning Christianity.  So I guess he just thought he’d return the favor by dropping a book full of potent healing capacity in my lap.  Thanks J-daddy!  (Oh-la-la!  Here comes the rain!  Time to hop aboard the romance train and ride wildly into sexy tides of late night living liquid poetry!)  I feel to run out to Brad’s old blue diesel Mercedes, sleeping in the driveway and lay into the horn!  Because I LOVE Jesus!  And sometimes the best thing once can do is HONK about it!

Speaking of Jesus, like eighty percent of the men here on Kauai remind me of Jesus.  I swear… I have Jesus sightings everywhere I go… including out to the kitchen to make dinner!  Tonight’s Jesus du jour was Joshua.  He’s a twenty two year old Jesus who currently lives on the beach and follows the Tao.  I don’t think he ever wears a shirt.  Last week, when I met him for the first time, I immediately reduced him to left over coleslaw and packed him in a tiny box to wither and spoil.  The box was entitled, “Hippy-Dippy-Ultra-Feminine-Boy-Who’s-Too-Young-To-Really-Know-Much”.  Then I proceeded to act nice and open to him… Am I sick or what?  It’s my loss… because his heart is about as pure as expensive crystle.  Tonight he told me that all he’s really been doing with himself these days is a whole lot of watching the ocean and chanting of mantras.  When I feel into him, his energy is so clean, sweet and innocent.  He’s all kindness.  And he looks like Jesus.

I am totally out of money these days, waiting for a check that has been delayed for almost TWO WEEKS, and in the mean time, living “poem to poem” and “grace to grace” as I recently confided in you… Tonight as I was making dinner, I had the blessed opportunity to share food with this holy Jesus Pup.  At first, I felt tight, stingy and afraid, as though if I gave “mine” away, I would starve.  But then I reflected on the plethora of generosity that the universe has been spilling out on me these days… and I realized how ridiculous it would be to hoard.  Food, money, opportunities, love, kindness… they have ALL been literally falling from the sky and landing all around me.  It would be absurd not to pour back out as the very universe, Herself!  I am gonna run outside and honk Brad’s horn in revelatory gratitude for the opportunity to share my ridiculous abundance.  In gratitude for the opportunity to see my frivolous, indignant judgments of such a holy creature and toss them in the voracious flames of Truth for purification.

Dang, it’s past my bedtime!  Off I go.  If you hear someone honking, don’t fret, it’s just me, praising the Lord…

Amen!

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