Thank God It’s Not Yesterday!

Thank God it’s today and not yesterday.  Yesterday turned out to be an arduous one.  When I began my blog, remember, I had misplaced my smile and the tension inside was enough to make rubber band music.  Well, to make a long story short, let’s just say that I strummed a good share of lonesome, clunky rubber band notes and listened to them bounce and echo through the vast, dark scapes of my inner terrain yesterday.  Another way of making this ridiculously epic story short is to say that I felt like a frustrated, sedated, caged tiger; frightened, dulled and pacing my diminutive nook of the zoo with paws that felt bound by balls and chains.

Ooooh!  Four oh five pm and a spontaneous rainstorm has announced itself by pounding playfully upon my blessed roof!  (Think about it~ It’s pretty blessed to have a roof, isn’t it?!?  Home is so easy to take for granted here in first world paradise… but come on!  Let’s share a moment of silence and be grateful for the homes that give us refuge, grounding and safety!  Thank you God, for my holy home!)  Yeah, I think the Angels threw down a few splashy handfuls of rain just to remind me that yesterday is dead and gone forever and today, I stand fresh and cleansed once more.

But Angels, please let me tell them one more thing about yesterday… Okay?  (Since Angels aren’t much for discipline they just gave me the go-ahead…)  I want to publicly praise myself for the courage and self love I exhibited in the face of such relentless discomfort.  I didn’t have much going on yesterday… so it was a lot of resting, pausing and being… but with a very raucous mind.  I wanted to find something to DO.  Do!!!!!!!!  DOOOOOO!!!!! But I knew that that was not on God’s menu for me.  I was tired and sad and introspective… And just needed to BEEEEEEE.  Past incarnations of me would have marched my sad ass to a jumpin’ café and gotten hella hopped on latte… and/or waited till the day began its steep incline into evening and drowned my angst in a glass chalice of the blood of Christ… or… but no distractions this time.

A turning point was when I dragged my sluggish ass into the temple in the late afternoon for asana practice.  Though my muscles felt to be made of sandbags, the practice clarified my mind.  After practice, I still felt low energy… but full of peace.  Renewed yet worn, I went to bed early.

And now it’s today!  Lucid, energized, surrendered TODAY!  My witchy-girl-posse housemates and I agreed to start coming together for sadhana (morning spiritual practice= an hour of yoga asana and 30 minutes of meditation) in our temple, starting today at six thirty am.  One of my girls had to work and the other opted for more sleep.  But still, I showed up and dove in.  Mmmmm.  Just recalling the memory evokes a MASSIVE deep breath in me!!!  The temple has a copious amount of windows on all sides, covered with screens, but otherwise wide open to the teeming jungle outside.  I watched it, felt it, breathed it as it gradually burst awake.  The creek outside shushed its ceaseless, liquid OM, the rooster crows and parrot squawks were so thick you could slice them with a dull machete (kinda like the banana, guava, payaya, lime, ginger, kale, parsley, maca smoothie I am nursing off a large spoon right now).  Six thirty am, and already I was perfectly comfortable in a tank top (the same one that I have been wearing since last Wednesday.  I borrowed it from Dara and fell in love with it because the cotton is so soft it feels like skin and I feel free and sexy in it.  I asked her if I could have it and she said YES!!!  Hence I keep putting it on again, day after day.)

(God… Here’s a weird thing about life~ no matter HOW absolutely mundane it gets, it never ceases to be laden with wonders… you just have to be willing to open your eyes and tell the truth.  I mean, sure, I feel ashamed that I’ve worn the same damn shirt for a week straight… but BFD… (The F stands for “friggin”, okay?… I’m not cursing.  Keep that cackling cake of soap away from my innocent, smirking mouth.) BFD because these little details of life are wrought with enchantment and comedy.

Like Brad for example.  (Yes, I know I am still operating inside parenthesis, but this is important, so I surrender myself to an order higher than pea sized me can fathom.  Don’t worry, I’ll circle back around.  This is the feminine model of communication.  When unbridled, we often move in concentric circles, not straighter than thou lines…) Living with Brad is a trip.  It’s kind of like living with an enlightened zoo animal… In my eyes, Brad is an eccentric, spiritual, kamikaze shaman.  I love his face.  There is something so open and inviting about it… which compels me to just look and look.  Looking at his face is like gazing skyward and seeing a vision of the Buddha.  Brad’s eyes are the sky.  Lucid, vibrant, luminous and endless.

But that’s neither here nor there.  What really counts is my fascination with his eating habits.  PROTEIN SQUARED.  I often find him snacking on peanuts in the shell.  And I infallibly get peanut envy.  I must admit, that eating salty, roasted peanuts right out of the shell is a field trip to Nirvana for me.  I suppose I could ask him for some… but I don’t believe in gratuitously snacking.  I don’t like to start my digestion for no reason other than hedonistic pleasure.  Ahem.  So I oft find my enlightened, kamikaze beast of a friend feeding on peanuts.  Also, he just bought like 24 eggs and two packs of bacon… so every day around noon (His breakfast time) he has been perfuming the air with the lucid dream music of salty, pig flavored fat.  One day last week for dinner he grilled a steak and washed it down with a cheese omelet the size of Madagascar!  Wow!  Another snack sensation that he frequents is corn chips dipped in a tub of sour cream!  Yesterday in the middle of breakfast, he demanded that I follow him outside, where he grabbed his machete and marched out into the yard where he proceeded to WHACK through the slender though substantial trunk of a banana tree, knocking the poor creature to the ground in one clean, furious swipe, and then hacking off the entire bunch of almost ripe bananas.  (He said if you leave them on the tree, the chickens eat ‘em up.)  Shrug.  I dunno if any of this recounting of my beloved soul brother Brad will translate through the pores of your computer such that you taste the most primal strain of Awe as I do… but at least know that my world is shaded with rich, fascinating, holy caricatures.)

So yeah, back to the civilized, unparenthasized world… Being held by the morning jungle breath felt like being in the womb.  I breathed in so much overflowing life that my mind became a clean, sharp diamond.   And then after breakfast, I walked a little over a mile to the beach, where I immediately flung myself back into the watery arms of my Origin and frolicked until I had no more frolic in me.  Can you believe that?!?!  I must be dreaming.  Oh, wait… life is but a dream…

I wish I had words to convey the sheer medicinal MAGIC that it is to swim in these waters.  All I can say is that it is alchemy.  All I can say is that every single cell that is me sings opera for hours after I reemerge onto the land.  All I can say is that I feel like a lump of garden variety coal turned to diamonds upon entering the wet womb of the Mother.  All I can say is… YES!

Another blessed facet of today= I went to the post office to pick up a package that arrived for me yesterday.  I had no idea what it was… which naturally made it that much more thrilling!  SURPRISE!  My dear friend Phoenix had sent me a piece of art he had made to display at Center Camp at Burning Man this year.  He said it was inspired by me… you see we visited Kauai together a few times seven years ago… and shared many magical adventures.  I’m sure this work of art is a gift straight from God, because when I look at it, I see myself in this new born place, standing courageous, tall and Divinely Alone in the psychedelia of Heaven.  See for yourself…


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. souldipper
    Sep 14, 2010 @ 19:52:14

    Amen from me, too, Athena Grace. Oops, I do want to add: Both photos are humongously welcome and enchanting.


  2. dan
    Sep 15, 2010 @ 02:00:09

    The art is you, it is paradise, and it is love! How incredible that God has sent this to you at this time.


  3. Naomi Colb
    Sep 15, 2010 @ 02:12:39

    Yes, Dawn, I see you in this piece with a Superwoman cape 🙂
    X Nomers


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