Falling Awake On Kauai

It’s four thirty in the morning.  I’ve been awake for an hour.  (So have the roosters…)  Since sleep ain’t happenin’, I figured I might as well throw down a blog.  I was planning to do it at the more civilized hour of nine am… but then I realized that if I emptied myself now, that I will be free to participate in the dolphin swim at Secrets Beach later this morning.  Yes, I said DOLPHIN SWIM! (I’ll keep you posted.)

Oh-la-la!  Where do I even begin?  (Hey!  Begin and Being are made of the same letters!!!)  I guess I’ll begin by telling you that landing on Kauai feels like landing in a lucid dream.  The popular consensus says that Kauai is on planet earth, and a part of the United States, no less… But I’ll tell ya WHAT?!  Being here, it sure doesn’t feel that way.  I feel like a multidimensional space traveler who just landed on a distant planet, a hub of witches, wizards, mystics, angels, fairies and [heirloom] garden variety space cadets!  Please notr that I am NOT merely taking poetic license here.  I am being full throttle serious.  It seems like a big, continuous psychedelic trip on this island.

The night before last I dreamt that I was wearing sunglasses.  In waking life, I abhor sunglasses.  They agitate the pants off me, as I feel they are a meddling barrier between me and the vibrant, dancing world.  So in the dream, from behind my sunglasses, my vision turned to grey scale and I was obviously disenchanted by this.  The person that I was with (David Shakiban) informed me that my unsavory vision was merely a result of wearing non polarized glasses.  He offered his polarized pair for me to try.  I put them on, and suddenly, the world POPPED with rainbow lucidity.  AH-HA!  All this time, I had just merely been in need of polarized glasses!  Do polarized “sunnies” really do that?!?  If so, God, hook this velvet and satin fisted witchy sistah UP!

Then yesterday evening, in waking life, I was at this little art show in downtown Hanalei, perusing through some amazing photography snapped by a local artist and one of his prints, a Kauai land scape graced with a double rainbow leapt out at me!  Hark!, it looked just like my dream!  I told him and he said he had taken it with a polarized lens!  This tripped me out, since consciously I know nothing the wonderful world of polarization.

I told this little story to illustrate that dreams and waking life on this island smear and bleed like one continuously streaming epic poem.

Back in Oakland, I often felt like I was fighting exhaustion.  Existence inexplicably felt like dragging a huge pile of rocks, or being crushed by an atmosphere so oppressively dense and unfriendly.  Though it drove me mad, I thought that’s just how life WAS.  But here on Kauai… My body is made of light.  I feel like I am swimming though the wet, sensual air.  I automatically stand up so tall, I feel like a strange combination of a large mermaid, He-Man’s sister, Sheera, an angel and a rainbow stretching between earth and sky.  I had a pretty strong intuition that I belonged here… but this is ridiculous.  Suddenly life feels like the Heaven that I could previously only hear whispering to me from the swampy darkness through which I slogged.

I was not sure that I could ever love living with people that I was not sleeping with.  I thought it involved way too much compromise.  I thought I was way more interested in my home being a larger than life hide-out-fort.  Turns out that I was mistaken.  I am astounded by my three and a half housemates!  Brad has been my friend for ten years.  I was his very first friend in the Bay Area, after he moved there from Michigan.  And now a decade later, he was my very first friend on Kauai.  Then there are Catharine and Heidi.  They are both around my age (thirty two and thirty one, respectively) and they are both witchy goddesses answering a very similar call as myself.  (What call?  An invocation, an initiation into feminine power and deep healing, of course.)  They both practice yoga and love the earth and make their own unique brands of magic.  Already, I feel like I have known them both for eons.  (I’m sure I have.)  Catherine and I have this profound way of communicating where one of us might be trying to expel a truth from deep in the tangles of our soul, tripping over the clumsy knots otherwise known as the English language… And the other is able to dive down below the mess, get the full download and bring it back up to the illuminated surface for the other.  It’s a handy resonance to share.  Heidi is really into health food, grows her own kombucha and has already given me one of her babies.  What a relief!  I have been brewing kombucha for about five years and I can’t imagine life without it.  Thankfully, I don’t have to.

The last token “half” of a person is Shane.  He is not a full time resident.  He was just staying here for a while.  He’s a fellow prophet and poet who, though obviously light years deep, brings such a light hearted glow to our home.  He is often in the kitchen, cooking slow, beautiful meals.  He is moving out today, which evokes a slight grimace upon my inner face.  But the rumor is that he will still haunt us on a regular basis.  He’d BETTER..

There is a temple in our back yard.  It was built with love and sacred intention.  Crystals are buried in the ground beneath it.  Brad does shamanic healing in there.  It is a large, airy, magical sanctuary, perfect for practicing yoga.  I bet at least twenty mats could fit in there.  It is hugged by thick, jungly foliage on all sides and a rushing creek outside sings a steady, mystic shhhhh.  We ladies of the house are going to start coming together for a morning sadhana practice starting next week!  (An hour of yoga asana and thirty minutes of meditation…)  Because the climate is so warm, my body always wants to move and stretch and open wide!  I got deeper into Hanumanasana (the splits from front to back) than I have since an injury five years ago!  Without any prep… I’m amazed!

I went to the farmer’s market in Hanalei yesterday morning with my typewriter and made my island debut as the poetic muse!  I had three customers, who were all phenomenal citizens of paradise.  It felt good to step out and introduce myself to my new community in that capacity.  The morning overflowed with magic and grace.  After I write poems for people, I find myself spattered all over the sky though… spaced out, ungrounded, gratuitously lost to creation. (You see, I have to climb a ladder taller than God, into the penthouses of Heaven in order to find the perfect strings of words to commit to the eager, splayed open pages…)  Yesterday, after my offertory shift, Catherine and I went straight to Hanalei Bay and plunged into the calm, pale, crystalline blue waters. At first the cold tickled me like a mischievous, smirking captor… but after a moment, my body and the water formed a hallowed alliance in a dance of Oneness.)  In ecstasy, I merged with the Body of the Ocean.  Instantly, I became drunk and understood eternity.  No longer was I hopelessly lost to the sky!  I was found in the sea.  When I got out, I felt like a freshly hatched angel!  Every single molecule of me danced and sang opera for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

If all of this sounds too good to be true…

It isn’t.


P.S.~ It’s six oh two am and the air is now saturated with a cacophonous symphony of rooster squabble and the occasional virtuosos of parrot screech.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. souldipper
    Sep 12, 2010 @ 11:46:18

    Thanks be to the All Loving Universe.


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