All I Can Do is Pray Today

Athena Grace, pull your self together.  Come on woman.  It’s five fifty three am and I am tongue tied.  I think it’s because what’s on my mind and in my heart are things that I don’t want to write about.  Like all the judgments of Mykael that I’m drowning in.  Like the perpetual frustration that I don’t feel capable of being close with my twenty year old brother, Daniel who seems to be perpetually and *needlessly* suffering.  Like that I’m seeing Eric this morning and I can feel how closed his heart is to me and it stings to feel the heart of someone you love shut tight.  Which is the way my heart feels toward Mykael mostly, so I know how it feels on BOTH ends and trust me, it SUCKS.

Maybe I’ll just pray really hard this morning.  REALLY HARD.

Dear God,

Please help me relinquish all my ego-inspired desires, so that I am standing naked and free in the light of the Truth.  Help me to polish my mirror, sanctify the prism of Self, so that only unconditional LOVE pours through.  God, let me not believe in or even entertain the myriad of white lies (and black lies and seductively prismatic lies) cast upon this world by my fearful, divided mind.  God please help me to forgive and return to Love even (and ESPECIALLY) when it is most difficult and I just don’t wanna.  Please, may I feel you within me, through me and EVERYWHERE, now and forever more.  May I allow this Ocean of Love we are immersed in to be the only thing that is Real, the only thing that matters.  May I have the courage to lean into the weighty, divine silence and be purified by the softly droning OM of creation.  God, I forgive this twisted dreamy nightmare of separation from You.  I do.  I forgive this dream once and for all.  I forgive this dream and wish only to Love through the confusion, the chaos, the suffering.  Please, let my life be a Light.  I know my strength lies in you.  In prostration, I offer myself at the All Pervading Holy Feet of Creation.  Use me.  Purify me such that my only will is Thy Will.  And let me remember and embrace the truth of my infinite patience for the process.  Let my life be one long garland of prayer, praise and celebration of the One who laughs the world into existence.  GodGodGodGodGodGodGodGodGodGodGodGodGodGod

Please erase all scarcity imprints from my mind.  May my mind be still and luminous.  GOD!  I know you know my heart.  I know you know my every thought.  I know you hear my prayer, and it is your greatest joy to lend your All Pervading Hand and guide me back to my SELF.

And God???  Please help me pay the rent on time.

And God?  Thank you for blessing me with so much love in my life.  With so many beautiful, inspiring friends.  Thank you for helping me heal my relations with my family.  Thank you for singing me awake from within all things in all moments.  God!  Thank you for giving me such resplendent gifts to offer the world.  Thank you for carrying me across this desert of forgetfulness and returning me better than you found me (figure of speech… there is no comparison in the wholeness of Love’s breath) to Love’s own All Pervading Heart.

May I have the courage to feel and allow the Love that we are all swimming in.  Now.  And Forever.

God, please be my best Friend, my Eternal Lover.  Thank You God.  Thank you with Everything that I Am.

In Devotion, Ache and Sincerity,

Athena Grace LMNOP

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. spirit2go
    Jun 29, 2010 @ 14:13:15

    I feel your yearning and pain. This is a very beautiful prayer and I know it touched God’s heart


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