The Purpose of Committed Relationships (a very soapy box)

The problem with not cumming is that in my world, there’s no such thing as a “quickie”… I never want to stop.  Once I get going, and every stroke is the universe blooming in its full glory, it’s mighty tempting to want to feel that just “one more time”… Which for a woman who needs to get to bed my ten pm… can be problematic.  I’ll get the hang of it.

This is phenomenal.  This is exciting.  What is, Athena?  Well, I got a comment from “cheeseaddict” (!!!!) requesting that I follow up on my inquiry about the “point” of long term, committed relationship.  First of all, how exciting to be in dialogue with a real-live cheese addict!!!!  This might be a first!!!  (I just cracked myself up!  I love laughing out loud…)  Cheese Addict, whoever you are, please don’t reveal yourself to me.  I’d hate to find out that you are just a “plain old” friend of mine.  I like to imagine that you are a mysterious fan of my blog, who lives way across the sea in a land where life is kind to those who have no restraint in their cheese consumption.

Ahem, but the main point of all this, is that I like readers to engage.  Mrs. Moon asked what happened to the happily ever after affair… And I stepped back in and finished what I started.  Mrs. Joy asked what’s the deal with the relationship that I’m in currently (which I have tons of trepidation in discussing… ask me again tomorrow… or at least a few paragraphs from now…) And the anonymous Cheese Addict also poses a thoughtful, pertinent question!!  This is good.  Thrilling, in fact.  Please, if you find yourself left wanting or wondering, bring it back to me.  Let’s be in a dialogue, Humanity.  We have much to consider as we grow into our Divinest selves!

Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to my reply to Cheese Addict’s inquiry about the point of committed relationships.  (Oh, pardon me, I just checked the comment and it’s Cheezaddict… please forgive me.)  Well, the point of committed relationship is to find someone to share your fervent passion for cheese with.  Because we all know that cheese consumed alone is a life without meaning.  But the REAL question is, do you shop for an Other who prefers the harder cheeses, while you prefer the soft, gooey ones… so that when you order a cheese plate, you don’t have to compete for the prime slabs… or do you solicit more of a neutral partner in aged dairy crimes???  This I am not sure of…

Okay, enough frivolity.  Get serious, Athena.  The reason that I was frittering away word after word in a state of frivolous play is that I don’t have the answer to the point of committed relationship.  I have been contemplating it for years and years… But you see, the contemplations change as I do.  And when I was just a baby, (up until about twelve days ago), I really wanted to believe in all that mister right, happily ever after, fairy tale bullshit.  So of course I overlaid all my innocent, princess-ish hopes on top of the question, which nearly suffocated it.  I wanted to believe that choosing one partner and sticking it out through thick and thin was the way and the light… and sure, it IS the way and the light for SOME… (every way we choose to engage in the dance of life is the way and the light… even if it seems to BLOW sometimes)  I wanted to believe that commitment is a spiritual path.  Actually, I DO believe that commitment is a spiritual path… but… Not an inspiring one for me right now.  The only commitment that compels my soul right now is WRITING.  Oh, and begging God to Reveal its Self in my mind.  (but I feel pretty slow on the uptake of that one…)

I am witnessing so many paradigms shifting these days.  We are alive at such an interesting time, eh?  Besides all the boring stuff like education and health care and political systems…(wink, wink, I know that stuff’s not really boring… but for me it sorta is…) Relationships are morphing.  I don’t know any couple who survives much past the ten year mark these days.  Old couples, sure… but that’s a different conversation, because they are more comfortable living in the old paradigms.  But us on the frontlines… Some’m cray-zay is goin’ on.  I think we are all feeling a deep soul-call to step up!  To roll up our high fashioned sleeves and give “dirty work” a whole new meaning!  It’s shit or get off the pot time here on this modest little planet we call Earth.  Time to pick up your weapons and sprint toward the light!

Relationships… I think they are for procreation.  So ask yourself if the one you be lovin’ on is someone that you want to share the responsibility of raising young muffins with.  Cuz that’s some serious commitment, right there, eh?  And if you already have a litter, raise your bloody glass!

I just had a thought… although I have not yet set out to prove it in the Petri dish yet… But I think the point of a committed relationship is no different from the point you self impose on life.  If life is a forum for your evolution, purification, exploration of Self… than naturally, your relationships will be allies in that process.  But then… why is it that a relationship can suddenly jump out of the bushes and strangle?  I have seen me use relationships as a crutch.  As a place to hide out.  And let me say first, that I believe that sometimes hiding places and crutches are entirely necessary on the journey of soul.  They have been for me.  I remember when Eric* loved me, at the tender, naïve, nebulous age of twenty three, I was shocked and amazed that this splendid man loved me just as I was.  Not for my obvious potential.  Not when I got my life figured out once and for all (HA!), no, just as I was~ very lost, not even burgeoning on ripe, and with a lot of healing and learning still ahead (that’s probably a constant, eh?)… Receiving Eric’s unconditional love was a huge healing for me.  Thank you, Eric*!!!!

I am not a subscriber to the world of black and white… Yes I am.  But not black OR white.  My black seduces my white.  My white teases my black, whips him and giggles.  In a world of duality, we shoot ourselves in the foot when we work too hard at winning the either or game.  I believe the very same relationship can be stifling and a source of liberation.  And Jesus-God-Almighty, my current relationship sure feels that way right now.

I’ll tell you more about that next time.

But the last thing I need to tell you right now is that in this strange dream of duality that we all conspire in, I believe in one absolute~ God.  Source.  Love.  Peace.  And at the end of the day, this indescribable Source is who I am in a long term, committed relationship with, and whose heart I long to merge with.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Rosy Moon
    Mar 24, 2010 @ 20:26:28

    You say not many relationships make it past the 10 year mark and it’s true. I know one single, brilliant, witchy counselor (is this an expert?)- well she quoted an expert at me who had stated that as mammals our relationships do best until seven years have passed, long enough to raise a couple of muffins to some degree of independence and then, off to sew oats elsewhere.
    In my yearning for intimacy in my relationship I have stumbled up against what feels like a wall. I want my man to be present with me and what I feel like I get it small morsels of presence and then his bulky thought forms show up and drag off his attention to prettier, more pressing concerns than my being.
    When you mention relationship as a practice, a path, this to me is where the rubber meets the road.
    And to further adhere to your assertion that how we relate is how we live our lives, can we show up and actually be present to what is right there, inner and outer?
    I had the thought while reading this post that this is what will reveal God to you, in you. The ecstasy of simply being, through consciousness of being. It really tickles, which is why we avoid it with distraction. IMO (Not particularly humble, I guess).
    Oh and by the way, props for your sexy experiment- and sharing it with us!!


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